


Blessed Are The Hearts That Can Bend

by LavellanTwins



Category: DA - Fandom, DAI - Fandom, Dragon Age, Dragon Age Inquisition - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Deaf Inquisitor, F/M, Fluff, Solavellan, a lot of fluff, angry Lavellan is angry, maybe some smut eventually?, mostly Cullen fluff tbh, solavellan hell, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 02:26:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7556467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavellanTwins/pseuds/LavellanTwins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Blessed are the hearts that can bend, for they will never break." </p><p>After an accident when she was young Sasha Lavellan lost her hearing and relied heavily on her twin Misha. Upon finding she could hear Solas in the fade a romance blossomed out of convenience, once the relationship crumbles Cullen is her shoulder to cry on and only Misha notices the difference in the atmosphere between the pair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this was meant to be a bit of a one shot but I got carried away oops. Sasha Lavellan is my Elven inquisitor and Misha is Frida's inquisitor - the pair happened to look as though they were related and we needed up inventing the AU where they both become inquisitor! Also, I've never written a full story before (or written anything other than essays before really) so any constructive criticism would be more than welcome!
> 
> Also we have an Instagram accounts where we keep updates and post short stories: @LavellanTwins

"Bullshit," Sasha breathed a humourless laugh, "that's bullshit. Is there anything in this world you won't tear down to prove how smart you are?" 

He had brought her into the fade, as is where they usually met, to a beautiful spectacle of nature and waterfalls, all to tell her that the Vallaslin on her face represented slave markings. She wasn't quite sure why she was so angry about it, it wasn't as if she cared a lot about the Dalish after the way they treated her like she was useless. Yet for some reason she could shake the fact that the marks on her face didn't mean what she believed them to. 

"I did not tell you this to hurt you. If you would like, I know a spell... I can remove the Vallaslin," Solas suggested, which only made her brows knit together.   
"I don't wear the Vallaslin for the ancient elves. I wear it for me."  
"I know. I just look at you and see what you truly are, and you deserve better than what those cruel marks represent."  
Sasha looked down for a moment and caught a reflection of her face, covered in Vallaslin, in the river. After a deep breath she shook her head and quietly answered, "okay. Remove them." 

They knelt by the side of the river and Solas gently lifted his hands up to her pale face and performed the spell. Solas then lifter her to stand beside him as he stared at her face, taking in the newly revealed light skin.   
"You are so beautiful," he whispered leaning in to brush his lips against hers, sliding one hand around her hip and the other against her head. The kiss was almost reverent, not like their usual spat of passion but rather like a goodbye. As he pulled away his face changed from awe-filled to solemn. "And I am sorry. I have distracted you from your duty. It will never happen again."

Sasha took a step back and heard his name fall from her lips like a plea. He can't be serious. He's just teasing, or this is a nightmare. It's not happening.   
"Please Vhenan," she vaguely heard him say as the physical distance began to eco the emotional one between them and grow.   
No. This wasn't fair. He'd changed her life. He'd helped her in a way no one else could, his was the only voice she could hear and he wanted to leave her now. How could he be so cruel as to give her everything the wanted just to rip it away when he felt like it? She was furious. Setting her face to a straight line of emotionless anger she stepped away further, distancing herself from him.   
"Tell me you don't care."  
"I can't do that," he replied with a sort of sadness she almost couldn't place. Sod that. She was being dumped and he couldn't even admit that he didn't care?  
"Tell me I was some casual dalliance so I can call you a cold hearted son of a bitch and move on!" Her arms against his chest, pushing him back with force as she found herself raising her voice. She stared at him for a second longer before storming away. Feet hard against the floor of the fade, which currently felt all to real, she heard him call after her.   
"I'm sorry," his voice echoed in her head as she realised this would be the last time she'd ever hear a voice again.


	2. Not The End Of The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha wakes up and realises it wasn't a dream. Cullen is there to comfort her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Sasha is singing in this chapter is from the musical Tell Me On A Sunday and can be heard here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvFqrhvNgAk
> 
> Also we have an Instagram accounts where we keep updates and post short stories: @LavellanTwins

She woke up with a fright, his words ringing in her head like a nightmare, "please Vhenan... I never wanted to hurt you." A nightmare, that's all it was, even if it felt like all the other times he'd met her in the fade. She recalls her excitement the first time he spoke to her and she could hear him, the disappointment of the silent world around her when she was not dreaming with him. It felt different now, the air was heavy and she wished she couldn't hear the timbre of his voice as he called it off. Dragging her legs out of her bed Sasha proceeded to throw on an oversized tunic and some shorts quickly before rushing down her stairs and heading towards Solas' quarters. 

Sasha was glad it was late enough for the guards to only be patrolling the halls every so often, running through the keep at this hour, scantily dressed as she was would be sure to get her in trouble with Josephine, again. But in the moment she couldn't care less. She had to see him, to know it was fake, a dream, not really him in the fade with her but a morphed form of Solas who had broken her heart to pieces with such ease. 

She swung open the door to his room and took quick strides towards the middle where Solas was sat at his desk drinking tea. He stood up quickly and spun around to face her, guilt and pain evident in his eyes. It was real then. He really had broken up with her.  
"Vhenan..." He spoke and for the first time ever, she was glad she couldn't hear his voice, hear the fake sorrow he must be putting on for this. She shook her head, brows furrowing above her glistening eyes, before storming past Solas with her head down and racing quickly out of the room and over the bridge towards Cullen's office. 

Without thinking Sasha proceeded to climb the walls of the tower until she found herself on the roof. When the other teens in the Clan would shun her Sasha used to climbs the tallest tree she could find, singing away her sadness until Misha inevitably found her. She sat staring out at the snow topped mountains for what felt like an eternity before she finally broke. Closing her eyes, allowing the tears to drop down her pale cheeks, she hugged her knees into her chest and began to hum. Music always calmed her down, the vibrations of perfect harmony relaxing her muscles and mind alike. Soon her hums turned into gracefully sung words.  
"Its not the end of the world if I lose him, it just might seem so tonight..." Her song floated beautifully in between her hiccups and sniffles.  
"Well I wouldn't give him the pleasure of seeing me cry, why should I? It's not the end of the world to feel lonely," Sasha dropped her head into her arms and continued to sob. 

\------

He'd heard her singing above his room. It was another night he couldn't sleep because of the night terrors that took precedence in his mind. Getting out of his bed, Cullen climbed through the hole in his roof to see the girl sat with her head in her arms, unable to stop herself from shaking. He coughed loudly to grab her attention to his presence, realising quickly the stupid mistake and proceeding to climb onto the roof and sit down slowly next to her. He wasn't good at this sort of thing, he didn't know what to do since he couldn't speak to her. Even if she could hear what he was saying he wouldn't know what words to use. Eventually he places an arm around her shoulders, the pale elf's head shooting up quickly in shock. Of course she hadn't heard him join her. 

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to frighten you," he blurts out quickly, withdrawing his arm as she stares directly at him with red eyes and tear stained cheeks.  
"It's okay, you didn't frighten me," she replied slowly, trying her best (and failing) to smile at him.  
"Wait.. You can hea-"  
"No, I still can't hear you. I can lip read you know Cullen," she gave him a look before letting out a slight sad laugh.  
"Lip read?"  
"As in read your lips, look at what you're saying, since I can't hear it... You've never met someone who can lip read?"  
"I've never met anyone who's had to," Cullen relied solemnly.  
"Well, it's not too difficult if you talk slowly, and it's much easier if you knew sign but don't worry about it," Sasha turned away from Cullen and they sat looking out at the night sky for a short while.  
After a few minutes, Cullen noticed more tears dripping down Sasha's rosy cheeks. He hated seeing her like this and took one of her hands in his own, using his other to turn her face towards him and wiping away the tears forming under her eyelashes with how thumb. It was then that he noticed her tattoos were missing. The very Elven markings that adorned her face had been something that had fascinated him, as it was with Misha's. What was it she called them? Valsin? Vislan?

"So, are you going to tell me what's got 'Sasha the brave rogue' in tears?" He asked sweetly and slowly so she could read him. She looked back at him with a sad smile and shook her head, closing her eyes to try and stop the tears from falling again. It didn't work, she couldn't stop crying but she could at least look away from him, he probably thinks she's being a child anyway. Sasha pulled away and turned back to the mountains with a frown as her sight became increasingly blurred. Cullen lifted his arm to her shoulder, turning her back to face him, and gave her a reassuring smile. She didn't care how much of a child he thought she was now and quickly threw her arms around his broad shoulders, forcing her face into his neck as she sobbed loudly. 

He was shocked at first, not expecting Sasha to be so broken and certainly not in front of him but he quickly wrapped his arms back around her.  
"Hey, shhh, it's okay," he spoke softly, knowing she couldn't hear him but hoping the feeling of his voice soother her in some way. He rubbed her back gently as he rocked them forward and back like he were trying to put a baby to sleep.  
"I could hear him," she spoke into his clavicle, "I wish I couldn't. I wish I never had."  
Cullen pulled her away from him by her shoulders so she was looking at him again, but didn't let go of her, "what do you mean?"  
"In dreams, the fade, I never had to read his lips, he didn't have to use sign. I could just hear him, like everyone else can. It was the closest to normal I'll ever get and I'll never have it again," she squeezed her eyes shut one more time, refusing to face Cullen after a confession that made her feel stupid. He gently placed his palm against her cheek and she leaned into the touch, eventually opening her eyes slowly.  
"It's the only way I could have ever been with someone, no one wants to be with someone who can't hear their voice, no ones going to spend a lifetime signing everything they say or speaking slowly for me. The fade was the only way I could have been with someone, he wouldn't have to sign all the time.." She hiccuped and breathed slowly, "but it's okay. I can't keep someone around if they don't want to be with me, I can survive on my own like I always have done."  
Cullen immediately held Sasha's face in both hands and looked directly at her, "no, you're not on your own... Maker, I wish I could sign to make this easier for you but you're not alone and I promise you never will be. You've got Misha who loves you more than anything in the world, you still have your friends - I can't go a single chess match with Dorian without him saying how funny you are, Cole blurts out how he feels safe with you all the time and half the time I think Vivienne truly believes she's your fairy godmother with how much she wants to coddle you. You still have me, and I know I'm probably not your favourite person in the world but I'll always be here if you need me," Cullen pulled his hands away from her face and scratched the back of his neck nervously. There was an awkward silence for a few seconds before Cullen began to get up and head towards the hole in his roof," it's late, I ought to be returning to my quarters-"  
"You are, you know?" He stopped at the sound of her quiet voice, turning to face her, "you are probably my favourite person... I-um, I might have mis read you, but I think you said you weren't my favourite person... Well, I.. Creators, this is difficult... I'm trying to say that I like you Cullen, very much so, and I realise I don't show it very often because I know you're probably not remotely interested in my friendship but I appreciate you a lot... And thank you. For everything," Sasha looked down and fiddled with her fingers before looking back up and seeing Cullen stand there with a smile and his hand held out. She tilted her head to the side in confusion.  
"It's late and you're exhausted, I'm not letting to climb back down my tower walls, come on," he explained as she took his hand and he helped her climb through the hole in his ceiling. 

Once the pair had climbed through the hole in the roof of Cullen's quarters, the two stood there awkwardly. Sasha was fumbling with one of the long sleeves of her oversized tunic and bit her lip as the realisation of being stood in Cullen's private room hit her. Cullen, however, had not quite grasped the gravity of the situation, and found himself rather oddly unable to draw his eyes away from Sasha's nervous form. Her hair was wavy and scruffy from the wind outside and she suddenly seemed much smaller than usual as she stood in her shorts and tunic rather than her usual armour or formal attire she was forced to wear by Vivienne or Josephine. The moonlight shone through the roof and Windows to highlight her pale skin and bright blue eyes, making the blush in her cheeks more prominent. It wasn't until she looked down and pushed a strand of hair behind her delicately pointed ear that Cullen realised he had been staring at her for far longer than was appropriate. 

"I-ah.. I suppose I should be getting back to bed..." Sasha announced quietly with a huge yawn.  
"You look asleep on your feet," Cullen replied with a smile, "you can stay in my bed tonight."  
Sasha's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open slightly. She put the sudden increase in heart rate down to shock rather than anything else, she would blame the rising heat in her cheeks on that as well. She would have to come up with a better excuse to explain away the heat rising in the pit of her stomach. Cullen started at her shock in confusion for a split second before the implications of his suggestion.  
"Oh, no! I didn't mean it like that! N-not that I wouldn't want to- I mean, you are of course beautiful, any man would want to- makers breath! I meant, if you were too tired you could just sleep here tonight," Cullen quickly threw a hand up to his face to hide his embarrassment as he shook his head at his stupidity. 

Sasha giggled slightly for a moment, which then grew into a full blown laugh. Before long she was clutching her sides and wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.  
"Am I missing something here?" Cullen stated to no one in particularly before Sasha looked up again at him with a grin plastered across her face.  
"I'm sorry Cullen, you just looked so flustered. I've never seen you look so... Casual. You're always this stoic commander, even when you were with Misha we never saw you falter or waver."  
Cullen smiled a bit at that. He didn't know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult but he found that he didn't really care when he saw the size of the smile gracing Sasha's face.  
"Perhaps you are a little over tired, Inquisitor?"  
"I think, Commander, you may be right."

There was a moment of silence before Sasha shuffled her feet slightly and looked up at Cullen, silently pleading for him to tell her how this will work. If she's going to spend the night here she doesn't want to overstep any boundaries, this is his private space after all. 

"Oh, um- of course. You can take my bed," Cullen indicated to the large bed behind him and Sasha quickly get herself tucked in to try and warm up a little from being out in the cold mountain air.  
"I shall be in my office if you need anything," he turned to climb down the ladder but heard a very quiet voice just before he could descend.  
"Wait," Sasha had sat back up in the bed and Cullen could help but be amused by how tiny she looked in his huge bed. There was no doubt she was endearing but Cullen quickly pushed those thoughts out of his head. "Could you maybe stay with me for a bit? Just to talk... I suppose I don't want to be alone right now."

He hesitated for a second, then smiled and did as she asked, like he always does and thinks he always will do. He sat on the bed opposite her, at an acceptable distance but not too far so she could read his lips. They spoke for what felt like hours. It seemed as though there wasn't a topic she hadn't spoken to him about, from what had happened with Solas and how he took her Vallaslin away to how she lost her hearing when she was younger. He found he had done the same, opening up to her easily, which came as a pleasant surprise to him. He told her about his family in Honnleath, about his time spent in Kirkwall and the tales he had heard about the Champion. Upon discussing their favourite pastimes he learnt that she enjoyed singing and playing the lute, which explained why he heard her singing on his roof earlier that evening. He asked her to sing something and though at first she was reluctant he had struck up a deal in which he would teach her to play chess if she sang him a song. And so she began singing and he moved up the bed to rest against the headboard next to her so he could hear her perfectly. She sang a gentle lullaby as both their eyelids began to feel heavier and soon enough the pair had drifted off into the most peaceful sleep either of them had had for a long while. At some point in their slumber, Cullen had rapped an arm around Sasha's shoulder as she leant against his broad shoulders and curled into his body.


	3. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after is always awkward, even if nothing actually happened the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have an Instagram accounts where we keep updates and post short stories: @LavellanTwins

Cullen awoke from what he had to admit was one of the best nights sleep of his adult life. The events of the night before felt like distant memories and just as he was starting to believe it had all been a dream he felt the body of warmth beside him snuggle closer into his side. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with his free arm, he looked down to see Sasha curled up next to him, her arms draped across his stomach and his around her shoulders. He smiled down at the lithe form that adorned his bed for a second before the shock set in. This was the Inquisitor. In his bed. The Inquisitor in the Commander's bed. regardless of how adorable she looked with her messy platinum hair and oversized tunic, this was bad. He could tell it was still early by the way the sun cast its shadows but that was not to say no one would be awake. If someone were to see her walking out of his quarters in the morning, dressed like that and clearly tired from a late night before. Maker. This was bad. 

As his eyes searching his room frantically trying to find a way out of this situation he heard a tired yawn and automatically looked back down to see Sasha rubbing at her eyes sleepily with her long sleeve. She was so adorable.  
No. She was the Inquisitor. Not only was she the Inquisitor but she's also just had her heart broken by that stupid apostate. And that's not to mention the fact that she probably thinks you're an idiot or ignorant, you can't even communicate with her properly. Even if you did know sign language, there's no way she'd be interested in you.  
Cullen chastised himself a countless number of times in the few seconds it took for Sasha to fully awaken from her slumber. 

"Cullen?" She looked up at him through this lashes and smiled a very confused smiled, "creators I must be dreaming."  
"Ah.. Yes, this may seem a little... Um, confusing. We stayed up talking last night and it appears we fell asleep," he explained while trying to decide whether he should move out of decency or stay intertwined with her out of comfort.  
"Oh, Fenedhis!" Sasha sat up immediately and looked around the room as if she were seeing it for the first time, "ir abelas Cullen, I shouldn't have taken your bed last night."  
"No, it's quite alright, I offered. I was going to sleep downstairs... I suppose I got carried away in my exhaustion. My apologies inquisitor."  
He remembered to speak slowly and only when she had her eyes on his face so she didn't miss anything he was saying to avoid further confusion. She stared for a moment then giggled.  
"When a woman is sat in your bed wearing a tunic and little else, I do believe you are past the point of titles, Cullen."  
He breathed a laugh at that, half out of humour and half out of the embarrassment he was feeling as heat rose in his cheeks at the realisation of how little she was wear, "yes, I do believe you are correct... Sasha." 

She smiled politely at him, a smile that reached her eyes. Sadly, however, that happiness was fleeting and he saw her eyebrows knit together and her confident mannerisms falter.  
"I don't much feel like facing the day," she said quietly.  
"Is that what we're calling Solas then?" He replied with an encouraging look.  
"Perhaps I'll just take the long route back to my room, it's early yet, none of the noblemen will be awake will they?"  
"The visiting noblemen? No I highly doubt they will be awake. The noble women, however, are likely to be wandering around in search of any scandal they can find."  
Sasha groaned and put her head in her hands, "Mythal's tits, knowing my luck I'd bump into a huge crowd of them and never hear the end of it from Josie." 

Cullen looked at Sasha quietly as she worried her lip between her teeth. A lewd part of his mind couldn't help but think a rumour of the two being an item wouldn't at all be a bad thing. The more chivalrous part of him thankfully took precedence and began to devise a plan. Carefully placing a hand on the side of Sasha's cheek to lift her head so she was facing him, he smiled as she stared back with stress evident across her face.  
"Don't worry, I may have an idea. Wait here, I'll be back shortly."

With that he rose from the bed, quickly threw on his light armour and slid down the ladder, heading over to the library to find Dorian. 

\-------

"So, what you're telling me Commander, is that our herald and inquisitor, is currently cooped up in your bed in nothing by a tunic and shorts?" Dorian slurred as he raised a styled eyebrow in shock at the Commander.  
"Erm... Well... Yes, when you put it like that I see why you would like an explanation but I really think that is up to Sa-.. The Inquisitor to tell you when she is comfortable to do so," Cullen shifted under the weight of Dorian's stare. "Please Dorian, you know what the visiting nobles are like, if they saw her leaving my office in that state at this hour the whole of Skyhold would be alight with gossip. I don't want to put her through that."

Dorian sighed and put down his book, rising from his chair.  
"Alright Commander, I'll help. Though I don't see why I must be the one to go through Sasha's private quarters to find her a change of clothes."  
"Maker's breath, you're not suggesting I do it? I couldn't go through any woman's clothing, let alone the Herald's. Besides you're her friend and I very much think she is in need of her friends at this moment in time." 

After a few minutes of Dorian almost gleefully rummaging through Sasha's belongings (and Cullen awkwardly standing at the top of her stairs repeatedly asking if Dorian had to be quite so thorough in his searches), the pair had finally found a presentable outfit for Sasha to wear. As the two reentered Cullen's office, Sasha popped her head over the edge of the flooring to peer down at them.  
"Oh creators, thank god it's only you. I kept thinking a recruit or someone would walk in and hear me," she smiled at Cullen and Dorian but it was evident in her eyes that she'd been crying. About Solas, Cullen had no doubt.  
"Only me? My darling you put me down too much," Dorian said and signed at the same time while looking as mirthful as ever.  
He began to climb the ladder and proceeded to help Sasha dress as Cullen sat and started working on reports at his desk. Dorian and Sasha remained in his loft for a while and he heard them quietly discussing the events of the night, what had happened between Solas and her. Once Sasha had stopped her sobbing and cleaned up a little she descended his ladder and stood opposite Cullen's desk with Dorian not far behind. 

"I suppose I should be off then, lots of things to do, people to meet," she smiled awkwardly as Cullen stood and nearly knocked his chair over.  
"Of course, I won't keep you any longer, my lady," he nodded his head lightly in a bow and she felt her heart flutter as she read his lips.  
"thank you, for last night and everything. I didn't mean to be quite such a burden on you."  
"No, not at all. My doors are always open to you if you need them... Or the hole in my roof rather," the pair laughed at that and then fell into a comfortable silence, neither of them realising they were staring at the other until a polite cough was heard behind them.  
Dorian had opened the door to escort Sasha back to her quarters and was now waiting for her beside it. She apologised to him and said her farewells to Cullen, then took Dorian's arm as he guided her across the courtyard and to her room taking the long route.


	4. A Letter From An Antivan Dowager

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha receives a humorous proposal and Cullen comes to his senses but decides to ignore them.

It had been a few months since Solas had abruptly ended their relationship. Sasha attempted to speak with him a few days after but it was to no avail, his cold demeanour as prevalent as ever. It took a while for everyone to become accustomed to the missing Vallaslin on her face but she was thankful that very few people made a deal over it, settling happily for just one outburst of anger from Misha and a somewhat cryptic yet wholly too explanatory comment from Cole. 

Sasha had always been good at masking her emotions if need be, and thus no one in Skyhold nor any member of the inquisition saw the way their leader would avoid mirrors and reflections of her own face. For Cole's words echoed in her mind at every reminder of her lost Vallaslin. 

"She is bare-faced, embarrassed, and she doesn't know it. She thinks it's because of her." 

She loved Cole with a feeling that was only reserved for those who were family, or those who reminded her of lost family, but occasionally he succeeded to only make things worse - like only a true family member can. Still, despite the words reminding her of the pain every morning, Sasha managed to get out of bed and dress herself. She managed to meet with countless nobles and judge the prisoners brought to her. She even managed to go on some missions out of Skyhold with Solas in her party, although she had taken to only asking him to accompany them when he was absolutely necessary for the mission. 

Today, however, she had a moments rest from the work of the Inquisition. Misha had travelled out to the Western Approach with Bull, Sera and Varric, leaving Sasha and her advisors to wait until their return to continue any particularly important Inquisition business. 

Sasha began her morning by checking the numerous letters on the desk in her quarters. One decorated envelope caught her eye, a tan piece of parchment with a deep red wax seal holding an Antivan crest. After breaking the wax and reading the first few lines, Sasha was already in a fit of giggles. She wished Misha was around to show her this ridiculous proposal but resigned herself to show her upon the party's return. Instead she took to making her way towards Dorian's reading coop. 

"My dearest Inquisitor, to what do I owe this lovely surprised visit?" Dorian signed and spoke as she approached him with a large smile spread across her face.   
"I can't visit my closest friends on a beautiful morning without ulterior motive?" She replied innocently.   
"A beautiful morning no doubt but not nearly as beautiful as the smile gracing your face, what has you in such good spirits? Has the Commander finally come to his senses?"   
"The Commander? What? No, I have a letter I want to show you!" Although confused by Dorian's comment, Sasha let it slip in way of the giddy excitement she had to show her friend this outrageous letter.   
"A letter? Is it a naughty letter? Some amusing proposal from an Antivan dowager?" He motioned for her to sit down with him in his alcove as Sasha let out another fit of giggles. 

Coughing dramatically, Dorian unfolded the letter and began to read in a horribly offensive Antivan accent, that although Sasha could not hear, the dramatisation of the letter was amusing enough. 

"My most beautiful Lady Inquisitor, 

if kisses were water I'd give you the sea, if hugs were leaves I'd give you a tree, if love was a world I'd give you a galaxy, let me have your hand in marriage for all of eternity. 

Yours forever and always,  
Lord Alonso D'Amor of Antiva" 

Sasha, again, couldn't stop herself from falling into a fit of laughter. 

"I'm sorry, I just can't," she breathes as she wipes the tears from her eyes, "it's just so ridiculous. I don't even think I've met this Alonso of Antiva." 

"Well my dear, he seems to be rather taken with you. Honestly, he could've at least included something a tad risqué. This is horrendous." Dorian sniggered as he placed the letter down on the table between the two arm chairs they sat on. "Perhaps this Lord Alonso is a strapping young nobleman, with plenty of land for you to hunt on."

Sasha sniggered, "land or no land, Josephine cannot marry me off to any noble who writes babble like this."

"I wouldn't be so sure, you are 'on the market' as they say now, and Bull certain isn't going to let Misha be wed for our ambassador's political use. A handsome young Antivan Lord and a letter professing his love? I can hear the wedding bells already, Sasha." 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

"A handsome young Antivan Lord and a letter professing his love? I can hear the wedding bells already, Sasha." Cullen heard Dorian's voice drawl elegantly as he came to the top of the stairs. He had been on his way to see if Dorian was up for their morning chess match when the words brought him to a halt. Wedding bells? Surely Dorian had been teasing Sasha, Josephine would never seriously marry her off for political gain, would she? 

The words were still being processed in his head as he felt something in his chest as though strings attached to his heart were being tugged at. Was it jealousy he was feeling or innate shock that anyone attempt to force Sasha into a marriage she didn't want to be a part of. But that's it, perhaps she does want to be a part of it. An Antivan Noble would surely be any woman's choice partner and it was entirely possible that this was her own choice. 

Yet Sasha was not just 'any woman', not to Cullen at least. He had always had some form of admiration for the elf, always putting it down to her extraordinary deeds and incredible ability to stay alive in life threatening situations. However, these last few months the Inquisitor and her Commander had been spending increasingly more time with each other and as their friendship grew so did his admiration. She was more than the extraordinary deeds she did, more than her ability to survive, void take him but he was sure she was more than any woman has ever been or will ever be. 

He needed to stop thinking these thoughts about her before he blurted out something embarrassing. Taking slow and calculated steps whole banishing the thoughts from his head, Cullen walked towards the pair lounging in the library. 

"Well, if it isn't the handsome Commander, here for our morning game of chess or would you prefer the company of a certain Inquisitor?" Dorian spoke gleefully as he approached them. He wasn't sure how to respond to that, he had come for a match with Dorian but he would certainly not turn down the company of Sasha. 

He'd evidently hesitated for too long as he heard Sasha's laugh pierce through his thoughts.   
"Don't worry Commander, I don't know the rules to chess so I shan't distract your match partner any longer," she stated with a smile and stood up grabbing the discarded letter with her. 

As she moved to leave Dorian grabbed her arm and said while signing, "enjoy exchanging letters with your handsome Lord Alonso." And with a wink him and Cullen headed to the gardens for their game of chess.


	5. Beauty and Awkwardness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha lets Josephine and Vivienne dress her up. Solas isn't impressed but Cullen is.

She hated this. She felt uncomfortable, out of her skin, not herself. Although she initially loved the way she looked in the mirror as soon as Vivienne and Josephine had dressed her, her mind was racing with worry. The dress must have cost a fortune and the extensions they had added to her short hair made her head feel heavy. It wasn't her at all and if she was honest with herself, that was why she loved it. She always wore practical clothes for hunting, plenty of thick protection but not too much to stop her from being agile. Around Skyhold she would wear loose shirts, especially a few months ago where she would wonder round barefoot in just Solas' oversized shirt and a pair of loose briefs. This was her home now, she would wear what she pleased. But those days had passed, she no longer spoke to Solas on a regular basis let alone walk the halls in his clothing. Nor did she have her Vallaslin, the last sign, aside from her ears, indicating she was anything other than the Inquisitor - a self made politician and a prophet to the people - it is vital she dress accordingly, as Vivianne had told her and Josephine had agreed. 

So she had caved and discarded her comfortable clothes for a light flowing dress, her usual scruffy short hair for braided long locks of golden white. Upon seeing her reflection in the mirror Sasha gasped and took a step back. She had never looked so elegant in her life.   
"Oh inquisitor! You look absolutely stunning!" Josephine signed to her whilst giggling femininely.   
"Indeed, you are at last the beautiful vision of Andraste's Herald. How do you feel, my dear?" Vivienne signed casually with a triumphant smile on her face. Sasha was always fond of the two women as they had Nobel upbringing meaning they were taught from a young age to sign, however they did not share her interests in hunting or weaponry.   
"I feel..." She began to speak when Solas entered her chambers and politely coughed as she caught sight of him in the mirror. She spun to face him, entirely forgetting about her appearance.   
"Inquisitor, you look..." He began to speak but paused and though she could not hear him, enough time spent listening to him in the fade had her heart racing with the sound of his voice, "entirely not like you," he finished.   
"Oh."  
He coughed again, more awkwardly this time, "Commander Cullen is looking for you, he is in the main hall speaking with Misha, something about reports."   
And then he left, leaving the three women in silence. Josephine smiled and fixed a flower in Sasha's hair.   
"Well, I suppose you aught to find our dear commander then," Vivienne signed and spoke easily, "I'm sure he will be more than interested to see the outcome of your make over." She winked and the women walked away, leaving Sasha stood in confusion. 

She turned back to the mirror and all joy she initially had from the outfit was lost. Solas' words had cut her like a dagger and all she could think was that this wasn't her. She began to walk down the stairs of her quarters and headed to the main hall, feeling increasingly insecure with every step she made. She took a deep breath and opened the final door leading to the main hall. She could do this, it was just Cullen, and Misha would be there so he'd probably be occupied by her even though they weren't together anymore. She saw him stood a few steps down from their throne, speaking with Misha and pointing out sections of the reports in his hand. Sasha closed her eyes and took another breath.   
"I look ridiculous, what am I doing?" She whispered to herself before opening her eyes and turning to retreat back to her room before a tanned hand lightly grabbed her arm and turned her to face them. A perfectly styled moustache was grinning back at her.  
"Why Sasha, don't you look like the image of temptation?" Dorian signed as he blatantly examined her body, "Misha told me to fetch you as Cullen had some questions about your report, I suspect he will very much want to see you now."  
Dorian pulled Sasha lovingly by the arm and led her towards Misha and Cullen. 

"Make way! Our gorgeous inquisitor has arrived!" Dorian announced as they approached the pair.   
"Thank you Dorian but I was already here," Misha responded quickly with a grin.   
"Indeed you are, and what a lovely sight it is to see two such beautiful creatures in our presence, do you not agree Commander?" He said, giving Cullen a cheeky grin.   
"I-I ah.." Cullen stammered and stumbled over his words as he so often did with Sasha. He wished, now more than ever, that he could communicate with her better. Even if he could sign, he didn't have the words to express how he thought she looked. Normally she covered her body in loose hanging clothes, never truly showing her form, yet this dress seemed to show everything. Her thin waist was surrounded by a golden belt, her smooth pale legs slipping between the slit in the long skirt, her curved chest shown almost entirely by the low cut and lace material of the corset top. He couldn't help but stare, visions of what her skin and her dress would feel like flooding his thoughts. She would be smooth and soft, a complete and utterly attractive contrast to his own rough and calloused palms dragging down her bare arms, over her hips, down the slit in the side of the dress. 

He was shaken out of his racy day dream by the piercing laughter of Misha and Dorain.   
"Well, well Commander, do you like what you see?" Dorian nudged him and winked, raising his eyebrows suggestively in Sasha's direction, who was currently looking at the three very confused.   
"I think Cullen might be smitten with you," Misha signed to her so Cullen could not understand what they were speaking about.   
"I- wait, he-.. What?" Sasha responded verbally, only confusing herself and Cullen even more, sending Dorian and Misha into an even louder fit of laughter.   
"I say Dorian, would you mind ever so much escorting me to the dinner hall? I'm sure these two love birds can be left alone for the time being," Misha announced in a ridiculously over-posh accent which sounded somewhat like a mimic of Vivienne's. Dorian took her hand and lead her out of the room, leaving Cullen staring at Sasha and Sasha staring nervously at the floor.   
"I-um... I believe you wanted to go over a report with me?" Sasha spoke but when she didn't receive a reply she noticed Cullen's eyes looking over every inch of her body, "ah... I can get changed into something less... Ridiculous, and then go over it if you prefer?"   
"Ridiculous?" He breathed quickly, "Sasha you look exquisite."  
Her eyes widened as she read his lips, just as his cheeks reddened and a hand shot to the back of his neck nervously.   
"I mean, there is no need for you to change Inquisitor," he rectified but she couldn't stop the grin growing on her face.   
"You really think I look okay?" She said with raised eyebrows and an almost sad look in her eyes.   
"Sasha, you look positively angelic," he spoke softly taking a careful step forward.   
She grinned up at him and even twirled part of her now long hair around her finger, feeling incredibly girly for a change.   
"Thank you, Cullen. Really." 

They stared at each other for a few moments longer, unaware of the third party watching from the door to his room. Solas could see the budding romance between the two. He must not be jealous, he brought this on himself. Shaking his head he returned to his painting, leaving the two discussing their mission reports alone.


	6. Silent Flowercrowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha takes a stroll in the gardens and makes a new friend. Cullen is bombarded with flowers and cuteness.

Sasha wandered through the gardens of Skyhold. The summer sun warmed her pale skin as she walked barefoot across the grass. She had donned on one of the dresses Vivienne had given her, a pretty little white thing with a lace top and short skirt, but had opted to forego any shoes - she was after all an elf at heart, and she missed the feel of the earth beneath her feet. 

The serene feeling of calm didn't last long as a small weight crashed into Sasha's legs with a tumble. Her arms flew down to the offending object only to find herself holding up a small girl from falling over. The girl couldn't be more than six years of age and looked up at Sasha with big brown eyes, verging on tears. Her dark skin was a stark contrast to Sasha's pale tone and her brunette hair curled out in all directions. Sasha squatted down to the girls short height,  
"Are you alright?" She asked quietly as she gently rubbed the girls shoulders to calm her.  
Behind her tiny frame Sasha could see a group of children around the same age and read one of them shouting across to the little girl before her. 

"Mauni, we told you before, you can't play with us."

The girl looked over at them and frowned before turning back to Sasha as tears began to stream down her face. Kids can be cruel, Sasha thought, and she knew that better than most. Standing up, she held her hand out for the child to hold.  
"Why don't we play our own game?" She said sweetly as the girl held onto her larger hand and followed her to the other side of the garden. They sat on the grass and Sasha began picking the colourful flowers that lay around them.

"Do you know how to make flower crowns?" She asked the girl who stared at her in reply. "My sister taught me, we used to make them for all the other elves in camp. Once we made our brother and our father wear them for a whole day!" 

The little girl continued to stare at her but let her eyes occasionally wander to the flowers in her hands. 

"Here, I'll teach you," Sasha handed over half of her flowers to the girl and demonstrated how to pierce the end of the stem and pull through the stem of another flower. The little girl copied her and performed the task beautifully. They repeated this in silence for a few moments before Sasha spoke again. 

"My name's Sasha. Those girls called you Mauni, is that your name?" The girl nodded and smiled a little as she continued to make a chain with the flowers. "You don't speak much? Is that why they wouldn't let you play?" Another nod and the smile faded slightly. "That's okay, I can't hear anything so maybe we're the perfect match," Sasha gave Mauni a smile and she smiled back, properly smiled, showing her perfect white as she did so. The gesture melted Sasha's heart and images of her younger brother at this age came flooding into her memory. 

The pair continued their task of making flower chains in silence before Sasha picked up the end of Mauni's chain.  
"I think this should be long enough," she attached the ends of the chain together to make a circle out of the flowers. She placed the crown delicately on Mauni's head, allowing her tight curls to balance the flowers. "Fit for a princess," she said as she smiled at the child in front of her. Mauni then picked up the discarded flower chain that Sasha had been working on and again copied her actions, making the simple collection of flowers into a crown. She stood up and leaned into her toes as she placed the crown on Sasha's head. The action again warming her heart and Sasha thought she could get used to the company of this little Mauni. 

The pair wandered the gardens together in silence and collected flowers. After a while they sat on a bench near under the pavilion and Mauni reached her hand out towards Sasha.  
"You want these?" Sasha asked as she handed over the flowers she had collected and Mauni nodded back at her eagerly.  
Sasha watched as the girl added her flowers to the pile she had collected, pulling the silk tied around her wrist as a bracelet off Mauni tied it in a messy knot around the flowers to make a bouquet. 

Mauni smiled up at Sasha as she handed the bouquet of flowers back to her.  
"For me?" Sasha asked as she accepted the beautiful collection. But the girl shook her head and giggle very quietly. Sasha frowning in confusion, if not for her then who was she to present these flowers to? Mauni pointed up to something behind Sasha and as she turned Sasha saw Commander Cullen walking towards them. 

"My apologies inquisitor, I don't mean to interrupt but could you spare a moment to go over a report?" The Commander spoke quietly then rose his head from the reports and saw Sasha stood in front of him, holding a bouquet of flowers and with a small girl behind her. 

Sasha blushed and held out the flowers, "um.. I'm told I am to give these to you. On behalf of Lady Mauni," she began to spoke but the little girl frowned and vigorously shook her head and pointed to Sasha. "Okay, not on behalf of the young Lady but rather on behalf of myself apparently." Sasha smiled down at the girl and held the flowers out to Cullen who stood in shock for a moment before accepting the flowers. 

"Thank you, Lady Lavellan," he nodded to her as the blush rose in his cheeks, "and to you Lady Mauni," he turned to the little girl and smiled before she hid her face behind her hands. Mauni waved at the pair, hugged Sasha's legs tightly and then ran off to follow the other children inside for dinner. 

"I'm sorry Commander, you wished to speak about something?" Sasha said to break the silence.  
"I-er, yes. The report. Shall we?" Cullen sat on the bench and gestured for Sasha to follow, placing the bouquet of flowers between the two of them as he pointed out areas of the document in his hand.


	7. Fen'Harel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha wonders about the silent little girl and tells her stories of the Elven Gods, one in particular.

"Josephine?" Sasha's voice rung out quietly in the small office as she approached her ambassador. 

"Ah, Inquisitor. What can I do for you?" Josephine signed and spoke back politely with her ever present smile gracing her face. 

"I had.. Um, a question."

"I will answer any that I am able," 

"It was about the children that Mother Giselle looks after in Skyhold. I was wondering who they are?" 

Josephine signed, sympathy seeping into her expression in every way possible as Sasha took the seat opposite her desk, "I'm afraid Inquisitor that they are no one. The children are under the care of the chantry for various reasons but largely because they are orphaned or were abandoned. The sisters look after them until they are old enough for work." 

"Oh." Sasha spoke softly and processed the thoughts in her head. "There is one, her names Mauni, the other children seemed to be cruel to her. Do you know who she is?" 

"I am afraid I know very little of the children, most of their families were paupers and left little in the way of information about them. As for Mauni, she is under particular care. It appears she suffers from mutism, she cannot or perhaps will not speak but we are unaware as to the cause. It also raises the question of whether Mauni is her real name as it means 'quiet'. But I'm sorry to say my knowledge of the girl is limited to that. Was there a particular reason you were asking after the girl?" 

"I was just curious I suppose. Thank you Josephine, this has been most helpful." Sasha smiled and nodded her farewell to the ambassador before leaving the room and heading to the gardens again. 

It had been a week or so since she had made flower chains with the small girl as she had to make a prompt departure of Skyhold to scout in the hinterlands on a short excursion. She wondered whether the girl would remember her, a week was a long time to a child of six years and she had been missing from Skyhold for the time. The question in mind dissipated as she felt a small tug on the back of her simple tunic. Sasha turned to see Mauni's big brown eyes staring up at her. As the afternoon sun glistened in the sky Sasha thought she caught a glimpse of green beneath the earth coloured eyes and for a split second Sasha could have sworn she'd seen this expression on someone else before. 

"Hello little one," Sasha spoke as she squatted down and gave Mauni a hug, "is it your playtime?" 

The girl nodded and looked back at the group of children who were frolicking happily around the gardens without a thought of the small girl they had rejected.

"Well, I have an idea. Would you like to hear a story?" Sasha held onto her hand as Mauni nodded excitedly and led her to the bench they sat on the week prior. 

"When I was little my sister told me the stories of the Elven Gods. The Slow Arrow was my favourite. Once, a village asked the god Fen'Harel to kill a great beast. He came to the beast at dawn and saw its strength and knew it would slay him if he fought it. So instead, he shot an arrow up into the sky." As Sasha spoke, Mauni clung onto every word intently, both so wrapped up in the story that neither noticed the other party present in the telling of the tale. 

He had heard the story countless times, always twisting events and changing the past. Solas intended to show the Inquisitor a piece of scripture he believed could be useful in their fight against Coryphius, but had faulted upon hearing the story she was telling. Instead, he hovered behind the bench slightly and listened eagerly. 

"The villagers asked Fen'Harel how he would save them," Sasha continued with her story, "to which he replied 'when did I say I would save you?' And left the town. That night the beast came and hunted the women, warriors and elders of the village. It came to the children and opened its great maw, but then the arrow Fen'Harel had loosed fell into the great beast's mouth and killed it. The children mourned their loss but to this day the Dalish still make offerings to Fen'Harel because he did as he said he would. The story is important, it dresses the Dread Wolf in a bad light yet he saved them in the end. No matter how far from the Creators or the Maker you feel, they will see their promises to the end, they will not leave you." 

As Sasha's story came to an end the little girl in front of her turned her head to see Solas approaching. Mauni's eyebrows furrowed a little as she looked at him with wary eyes. As he came to stand in front of the two she looked to Sasha with a face full of mixed emotions, possibly fear, perhaps a hint of anger. 

"Don't worry Mauni, it's only Solas," she calmed the girl who simply shook her head, eyebrows furrowing even further and crinkling her dark skin. She stood, hugged Sasha and then ran back into the main hall for dinner. 

"I'm sorry about Mauni, she may just be nervous around strangers," Sasha said, turning to face Sasha. 

"No worries, Inquisitor. I am sure the girl had reason to be worried." He replied in his ever calm tone, the use of her title rather than name sending bitter chills down her back, "the story you were telling of Fen'Harel. You have... An unusual view on the morality of it." He stated as he motioned to the seat next to her. She nodded and turned to face him as he sat next to her on the bench. 

"I suppose. It's certainly not a view I would have been jumping to tell the Keeper about that's for sure, but sometimes I feel as though we paint the Dread Wolf in a harsher light than necessary... But I digress, there must be a reason you wanted to speak to me?" 

And just like that Sasha closed herself off from intellectual conversation with him. He nodded in recognition that this particular conversation was reserved for those who were part of her life and he had opted out of that category months ago. She was almost proud of herself, the way she managed to speak to him professionally and not let her emotions get the better of her. She wanted to share all her philosophical views on the Elven Gods, she wanted to hear his, ask him what he thought about the stories that are told. But she knew it would hurt, to be how she was with him, and so she wasn't. With Solas she was the Inquisitor, nothing more, and it would stay that way.


	8. Music To Your Ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little snippet into travelling life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't uploaded anything recently - life's been very busy this month while I've been travelling, doing my gold DofE, turning 18 and getting into uni! Once everything's settled I should be posting more :) 
> 
> The song Sasha sings in this chapter is Youth by Daughter

They'd been walking through the Emerald Graves for three weeks now, completing various missions and closing rifts as was their job. Tiring though it was, the twins were enjoying the time they spent together. Having two inquisitors able to close rifts often meant they were sent to different areas and rarely got the chance to relax together never mind travel and fight. It had been months since Misha and Sasha had the chance to work together in battle but the first rift they came across proved that they were in harmony with one another. With Misha twisting her ornate staff above her head with strong arms and Sasha scuttling up a tree for a better vantage point to shoot their foes from, the fighting pair were truly a sight to behold. 

After a long day, the group came to set up camp in a small clearing. Dorian and Solas quickly set about making a fire while Iron Bull and the twins set up their tents. As dusk began to fall the party sat around the fire and cooked supper, telling stories and reflecting on the day. Sasha had found an old lute in a cart raided by bandits and was sat against a tree a few feet from the others, quietly tuning it. Once satisfied with the vibrations against her fingers she gently began to pluck chords, staring down at her hands as they moved effortlessly. Singing and playing the lute had always calmed her, falling into her own meditative trance as she sang the lyrics softly. 

"I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette, a lifeless face you'll soon forget," her voice drifted from beneath the tree where she was perched and towards the camp. Misha recognised the voice instantly and held a hand out to Dorian who'd been extravagantly telling a story, quietening him down. Sasha hadn't sung in front of anyone since her accident, always waiting until she was certain she was alone, and Misha had missed her songs - she would hear this one. 

"My eyes are damp from the words you said, ringing in my head, when you broke my chest," the group listened intently as Sasha continued her song, still staring at her fingers plucking the strings, unaware of her audience. 

"And if you're in love, you are the lucky one, 'cause most of us are bitter over someone, setting fire to our insides for fun, to distract our hearts from ever missing them... But I am forever missing him," Misha glanced at Bull towards the end of the song, the music slowly coming to a halt. There was a moment of silence before Dorian stood and clapped dramatically, a series of "Bravo"s and "encore"s falling from his lips, causing Iron Bull and Misha to laugh as they approached Sasha who was now very aware of her audience. Heat rose to her cheeks as she watched the three of them approach her, reading questions like "when did you learn to play the lute?" And "I had no idea you could sing?" from Bull and Dorian. 

She blushed and shook her head as they began to suggest she sing for a crowd in the Heralds Rest when they return. Through her embarrassment however, she did notice the way Solas had turned his back and headed towards his tent for the night.


End file.
